My name is Paige. Some would call me a wise, young sage, and never have I been confused with someone who displays a plethora of rage. (wink wink) Well there was that one occasion a few years ago where the rage inside the machine spewed out. Could you blame me? I had to deal with the most wretched element ever found in the workplace… people. Work is for work and grabassing and other forms of bullshit are for the sleazy bar at the edge of town. Unfortunately, there was a day a few years where I was caught up in said bullshit and it brought out the rage in Paige.
It happened one day while I was working at the law firm of Wilson, Chancellor and Wagner. I was a file clerk who also dabbled in the art of data entry. Usually, I spent my eight hours at this deplorable domain of capitalism and greed with my earbuds planted in my eardrums, drowning out every bit of inconsequential blather that tumbled out of their wretched piehole. I was in another world… a world filled with Luke Bryan, Cody Johnson and George Strait singing into my ears. Unfortunately, on this day, my ear buds were left on the bedroom dresser and I was instantly placed in my own private hell.
The rage would take place in the file room. A place that was usually quieter than a conference of mimes. However, on this day, it was rush hour in the City of Angels, otherwise known as Smell A. People were constantly running in and out and talking about their plans for the weekend, or what they did last weekend or, my god, I couldn’t stand it anymore. With a handful of folders and legal documents in my undersized arms, I slammed them down onto the floor with the force of a jackhammer, like I had just scored the winning touchdown, but this was far from jubilation. I don’t remember what flew out of mouth, but it was certainly not cordial. What I do remember was one of the lawyers rushing into the file room and firing me on the spot.
No warning. No nothing. It was “get your shit and get out of here.” I was done at the law firm and it felt good. I knew I had to make changes in my life and this was the impetus to get the ball rolling. From that moment on I never worked another day in my life in the presence of people. I got my degree in accounting online and procured a job where I do full cycle accounting for a construction company in the comfort of my undersized apartment. Damn, life is good, as long as no one comes to disturb me.