Damn Starbucks!!! Why do I come here? I love my Caramel Macchiatos more than an empty road at midnight but they never get it right. When the caramel goodness slithers down my throat I don’t want to be screaming in agony. I tell them, “Make it cooler than the Planet Mercury” but they just laugh and give me a cup of molten steel. “Make it mild!!!!” I request in a terse voice. Of course, the under-aged barista does not follow through on my command and gives me the coffee equivalent of Death Valley on a summer day. “I can put some ice cubes in it,” the barista sheepishly explains. “No, please do it over,” I request in a much calmer voice. No need to piss this guy off. He could drop a few jalapenos in my drink and really make me suffer. While I watch the barista make my new Caramel Macchiato, I receive a very strange text from a number I don’t recognize. Uh oh, this can only mean bad news.
I was about to send this text into the trash when I saw the words “movie” and “Reno,” and I stopped dead in my tracks. Apparently, some filmmakers, who I have never heard of, are shooting a movie here in Reno and they are looking for extras. Hmm, sounds interesting. I wonder if they’re paying the extras. Oh wait!!!! Fuck this!!!! It’s a movie where the extras get killed. I’ll have nightmares for four score and seven years. The barista hands over my new Caramel Macchiato and it’s only a degree cooler than the original but I am no longer in the mood to fight this. I’ll just drink this in an hour.
While I’m blowing Hurricane Katrina on my drink to cool it down, I notice at the end of the text the filmmakers are willing to pay $500 for extras in this movie. Well that changes everything, or does it. Hmm, I have to think about this. On one hand I need the $500 to help with my rent and get my old battleaxe landlord off my back. On the other hand, if I take part in this movie and get killed what’s to say I don’t get killed in real life. I know, I know… it’s a movie but I am also the most paranoid person in the world.
What should I do?
Will Tyler decide to be an extra in the movie?
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