Soon, this will all be over. We are now in the home stretch and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, otherwise known as the end of my sentence in high school. I’m sorry if you don’t like the clichés but I’m practicing for my future profession. You see, in the not so distant future I am going to be a star on the football field or the baseball diamond or, maybe, both. Yes, I am that good and superstar athletes need to learn all of the clichés and be able to create nonsensical answers from reporters stupid questions. That’s what I should be learning at high school, not English, Social Studies, Biology and the most vile word in my vocabulary… Algebra. Bleech!!!! I get nauseated just thinking about it. Of course, there is a word paired with Algebra that is the equivalent of licking the underbelly of a slug—Algebra Test, and this wretched concoction will be served to my brain on Monday.
As I look at my new IPhone, which one of my many admirers bestowed upon me after my sterling performance last weekend, I discover this true test of torture is less than 72 hours away. Holy Shit!!! I need to study. Fortunately our team has the week off so I can talk one of my lady admirers into helping out poor, sweet Armando. Let’s see who do I call first? Ah, Samantha Honeywell sounds like a winner. I’ll just splash on some of my animal magnetism and invite her to the Armando adobe. Oh wait! I see a text rolling in from a number I don’t recognize. Is this an agent? Is this a scout? Is this the owner of a professional team? If so then I can just skip this damn test and go right into my professional career. Shit, it’s none of those people. It’s someone asking for people in our area to appear in a movie this weekend. Wait a second… a movie. That would be epic. I can be like O.J. Wait!!! Scratch that. I can be like, be like… oh damn, nobody is coming to mind. Anyway, I can be a superstar athlete and a movie star. That would be the most incredible thing in the history of man.
However, if I don’t pass this test on Monday I may not be able to play next week. My Algebra grade is teetering on the brink of disaster and Coach Bryant might decide to make an example out of his star player. The question is, can I pass this test without studying or help from Samantha Honeywell. Hmm, let me ponder that for awhile.