I wonder what the poor people are doing today? Who cares! I got Daddy’s credit card, and that makes this a K-Day, otherwise known as my special day. My “to do” list includes a mani/pedi, a luxurious massage, a complete overall of my gorgeous blonde hair and if I have time, and I know I will, a trip to the mall to buy a new outfit, or seven. I can only imagine the sheer horror on Daddy’s face when he gets his credit card statement next month, or the ghastly expression he will expound when he receives a call from MasterCard and/or Visa. What can I say? You shouldn’t have trusted your beloved daughter with your credit cards. Anyway, I deserve it. I’m beautiful and the rest of the world is not. I have to ensure the ugliness around me does not become a pandemic and inflict my stunning gorgeousness with ogre-like features. After all, I can’t go around looking like Shrek.
Speaking of Shrek, while my eyes were slathered with cucumbers and my face was luxuriating under a mineral-rich mud pack, I received a curious text from a movie producer. Finally!!! Hollywood has come to their senses and decided to make me a star. I mean, seriously, I am WAY more attractive than the current crop of Westminster Dog Show contestants who are slobbering up the silver screen. It’s time. It’s time for the world to become familiar with this weapon of mass destruction.One look at me and every guy will drop to their knees and their breathing will become extremely labored, eventually leading them into a comatose state. It’s not my fault I am this beautiful; like the Grand Canyon in the morning or the Sistine Chapel, the man upstairs bequeathed me an overabundance of exquisiteness.
Hey, hold on a second. This is a frivolous and pointless horror movie they’re doing. Oh, the hell with that. The good looking girl always gets the ax to the face or a chainsaw through their heart. And with my good looks, I’m sure I will get bludgeoned into a thousand bite-size pieces to be fed to Jeffrey Dahmer. It’s not going to happen. However, everyone needs to get a start somewhere and I know some very famous people got their start in horror movies but this is me. I am WAY more attractive and alluring and charismatic than anyone Hollywood has trotted out of the stable. This could ruin my reputation, but how can I deny the world this beautiful face.
Will Katy decide to be an extra in the movie?
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